almost exactly one year since i started to pen down my thoughts again.its already 2011 in just a blink of eyes. its amazing how i maange to go through life with so much ambiguity and uncertainity! those question i asked myself in the past have not found themselves any answer and right now i just have even more questions!
lets talk about the world end 2012.12.21 haha how true is that i am not sure. but to certain extend it kept repeating/ appearing in my life that i start to belive that world end may come and it will come eventually weather be it in 2012 or some other years. but wouldn't be a pity if all the hard work we go through goes into the drain simply because of a world end? how do we strike a balance so that we can continue with life and do not feel that whatever we are going through are a waste of time. i dont know. i wish i have more time for whatever i feel like doing and not just reports and test. sharon says that at least during the process you are learning thus it s not a waste of time. but to me those precious time can be used to do other stuff. stuff which are more meaningful and can add more colours to my dull and reptitious life. somehow i am not as thrifty as in the past, i spend more now and do not really calculate or mull over if every peny i spent is worth it. i spend more now cause i know money isnt everything. i start to find a form venting my stress by buying stuff, shopping therapy they call it. but still i have my limits and i do stop within my capabilities. haha. whatever it is, world end is still an ambiguity.
friends, same old people whom i hang out with, perhaps only true friends like them will stay with me forever through out my life. people whom will walk with me through happiness and sadness, i do not need a tons of friends, just a few whom are close to heart will do. At least over the years, i have became more mature and have come to terms with this point. and i am happy. no grumbles, no complains. i love them and i am pretty sure they love me too. i am glad i became a less grumpy person. however for friends whom have just entered my life, i still hold a sense of defence against them. and they are the ones whom do not understand me and i do not undertsand and this is where the root of grumbles started all over again for instance right now is lena. for the rest of the peeps in uni, i have been immuned and it doesnt concern me much. perhaps only mg is that one i would wish to keep as a friend for life.
love have shown its vumerable/ugly side to me recently through the stories of my friends. it is so unpredictable and anything can happen irregardless of the promises that holds and the belief that everything will turn out fine and well. thing changes, human changed. its an inevitable fact that we have to accept. for me, i dont know what is love. but i do enjoy my company with sk and i hope to carry on my life with him. alhtough at times, my hearts wander, my mind flusters over other issue. but still i love him i know. its just moment of impluses that i have to overcome and get even with! wayy to go joyce! i know i can do it!
okay.. i am lazy to say more!
life ahead:
FYP. taiwan trip. aussi trip. china trip. first class honours(i hope!) and tons of work to catch up with JIAYOU!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Thursday, March 11, 2010
sad
lets make this quick and i can start afresh and concentrate on my work. tomorrow will be a better day. i believe and it will be.
i really feel pretty terrible recently. can't rmb when did it started. but reallly terrible.
school work are piling and they are really tough stuff. not at all near to managable. but i have been trying very hard to cope and study. but study efficiently requires motivation and discipline. where do i find all this! i know i have to do well. and i will try my best. try to play lesser and spend more time with those notes and books. perhaps my expectation for myself are too far-fecthed. perhaps with a take it easy attitdude things will turn out better. but how do i find balance for that? projects are okay. new friends made. nice people nice company so not much complain, i count myself luckily when i start to put myself with mg. she have her problems and i really think some people are just pain in the ass. perhaps i am pre-judging or judging with personal views. got to look at the big pictures. gossips do make people feel better.
okay now the thing that makes me feel most terrible today. how can a man be such a pain in the ass. how could he do all this, when it started from nothing. sometime silence doesn't mean you can stepping all over that person's head. its ridiculous. some things i can forgo and just simple whining will just make all the bad feeling goes away. but when things accumulate in this manner. i cant help but see through all your wrong doings. i thought you was a nice person. really i trusted you from the bottom of my heart. but you went over the line of being friends. so i started to distance. and it became a topic for you to be angry and mad at me. and start all your nonsenses and stories. i let it go. no matter how much you just said and did. i tolerated. although at the same time i gossip and whine behind your back. but did you know i was actually guilty the first time i talk behind your back. but now i am no longer feeling that because i know whatever i am stating are facts, undeniable facts. okay, maybe i did say some things i think with too much confidence till it sounds like fact. but now omitting me. makes me feel terrible and threaten. i feel vulnerable, and i wasnt sure if my friends will still stay by me. why on earth would you do such things to make someone feel so terrible. it maybe one of your game but i know and i am sure i don't want to be that player. btw, you won the game. and i am such a loser to be so affected by all this nonsense.
bye.
i really feel pretty terrible recently. can't rmb when did it started. but reallly terrible.
school work are piling and they are really tough stuff. not at all near to managable. but i have been trying very hard to cope and study. but study efficiently requires motivation and discipline. where do i find all this! i know i have to do well. and i will try my best. try to play lesser and spend more time with those notes and books. perhaps my expectation for myself are too far-fecthed. perhaps with a take it easy attitdude things will turn out better. but how do i find balance for that? projects are okay. new friends made. nice people nice company so not much complain, i count myself luckily when i start to put myself with mg. she have her problems and i really think some people are just pain in the ass. perhaps i am pre-judging or judging with personal views. got to look at the big pictures. gossips do make people feel better.
okay now the thing that makes me feel most terrible today. how can a man be such a pain in the ass. how could he do all this, when it started from nothing. sometime silence doesn't mean you can stepping all over that person's head. its ridiculous. some things i can forgo and just simple whining will just make all the bad feeling goes away. but when things accumulate in this manner. i cant help but see through all your wrong doings. i thought you was a nice person. really i trusted you from the bottom of my heart. but you went over the line of being friends. so i started to distance. and it became a topic for you to be angry and mad at me. and start all your nonsenses and stories. i let it go. no matter how much you just said and did. i tolerated. although at the same time i gossip and whine behind your back. but did you know i was actually guilty the first time i talk behind your back. but now i am no longer feeling that because i know whatever i am stating are facts, undeniable facts. okay, maybe i did say some things i think with too much confidence till it sounds like fact. but now omitting me. makes me feel terrible and threaten. i feel vulnerable, and i wasnt sure if my friends will still stay by me. why on earth would you do such things to make someone feel so terrible. it maybe one of your game but i know and i am sure i don't want to be that player. btw, you won the game. and i am such a loser to be so affected by all this nonsense.
bye.
Monday, November 9, 2009
life.
just started another drama of mine. its reflect how vulnerable life can be. unpredictable. i always have this kind of thoughts coming through me. will all life end at 2012? i wish it could, because life have been a tiring journey. a journey where there are both sweet and bitter memories. but when it comes to seeing the world, sometimes i am just lost. people can be superficial, evil and also nice and lovely, too big a contrast. its hard to differentiate, some decision you made, some judgments you had passed, may meant a great deal. its just to sophisticated to be understood and have the most rational decision. life is a journey. and i really hope i can make the fullest out of it. to learn to be a better person.
if it were to end there, there will be so many regrets and unfulfilled dreams. but the end may also be the end of misery and let everything to be remembered as its most beautiful way.
sometimes i wonder if i know who am i? what am i doing on planet earth? if i am on a mission, am i doing it well. could things have been better?or i already work hard enough to achieve what i have today. in fact human grumbles, and i think i grumble too much. maybe just take life easy and enjoy!
many things happend, good and bad. and i hope i have learn from all that happened to be a better person.
learn to love and cherish.
studying. many setbacks. but still i am willing to work forward. i have to learn to keep telling myself, to be selfless and if i did my best, its enough. don't take the numbers too hard, this 2 things are the hurdles that i must pass.
friends. although not many or not too few. i love them and i hope i did my role as a good friend.
family. as usual. mom just hope she can see a better purpose in life. grandma if only she is less grumpy, less pessimistic, less defensive about SK. aunt. she is living a life of her own and enjoys it. i am happy for her and always willing to make it better if i could.
boyfriend. this i have lots to improve on. maybe i should just find out what if LOVE?
myself. character,got to learn to be someone with a little more depth, and i hope i can understand myself better too. to be a better person, and have more courage to do what i think i want and what i think is correct. more firm with my stand. perhaps be careful with my words. it think most of sins come from my mouth. got to learn to correct it. FU and HUO are both from the mouth. be humble and do not overestimate myself.
okay enough of ranting, sleepy! time to sleep.
exams are coming. study hard and play hard! JIAYOU!
(:
if it were to end there, there will be so many regrets and unfulfilled dreams. but the end may also be the end of misery and let everything to be remembered as its most beautiful way.
sometimes i wonder if i know who am i? what am i doing on planet earth? if i am on a mission, am i doing it well. could things have been better?or i already work hard enough to achieve what i have today. in fact human grumbles, and i think i grumble too much. maybe just take life easy and enjoy!
many things happend, good and bad. and i hope i have learn from all that happened to be a better person.
learn to love and cherish.
studying. many setbacks. but still i am willing to work forward. i have to learn to keep telling myself, to be selfless and if i did my best, its enough. don't take the numbers too hard, this 2 things are the hurdles that i must pass.
friends. although not many or not too few. i love them and i hope i did my role as a good friend.
family. as usual. mom just hope she can see a better purpose in life. grandma if only she is less grumpy, less pessimistic, less defensive about SK. aunt. she is living a life of her own and enjoys it. i am happy for her and always willing to make it better if i could.
boyfriend. this i have lots to improve on. maybe i should just find out what if LOVE?
myself. character,got to learn to be someone with a little more depth, and i hope i can understand myself better too. to be a better person, and have more courage to do what i think i want and what i think is correct. more firm with my stand. perhaps be careful with my words. it think most of sins come from my mouth. got to learn to correct it. FU and HUO are both from the mouth. be humble and do not overestimate myself.
okay enough of ranting, sleepy! time to sleep.
exams are coming. study hard and play hard! JIAYOU!
(:
Friday, August 28, 2009
28 August 2009,friday midnight.
today is union day in school and so i am free and suppose to spend my time studying and catching up my stuff. HOWEVER i don't seem to be able to find my motivation from anywhere. after all, its still week3. long way still. HAHA. cannot think that way must JIAYOU and study hard. shall touch my organic notes a little before i tuck into my bed later.
have to clean my room early in the morning before meeting sharonliew at town! yea. girls day out tml!(:
my state of mind now.
1. time is flying way too fast for me to appreciate and remember! can't even remember what i did everyday. it seem repetitious and dull. trying hard to make it more meaningful and interesting.
2. mr tree. a little disappointed when it comes to him. i feel that he had changed and things aren't as loving and sweet as before. more of screaming and lying. no longer the mr nice and fantastic guy i always picture him as. but i still love him. or should it be use to have him?i don't know and i am not sure. but we shall continue..
3.i am fickle.i had thoughts about you. it comes and go. i dont know how you think. but i think its more of a NAH. perhaps i am just too sensitive or think too much. let all this bad thoughts go away! its bad and i can't afford it.
4. i need to do well in school. i know.
5. i want better complexion, skinner and be prettier! i know its superficial. and i know there are many other things that are more important. beauty aren't everything. but you can't afford not to have it either. just like money.
6. more friends more outings more oversea trips more laughters.i know i am greedy. i don't understand why can't i be satisfied too.
7. i want to be a better person. doing all the right things and eliminating all the evil thoughts. i must believe that people are good and i shan't have negative views on them. i must learn to be contented.
8. learn to treasure life and be happier.
okay!that's about it.
smile.
JOYCE!(:
have to clean my room early in the morning before meeting sharonliew at town! yea. girls day out tml!(:
my state of mind now.
1. time is flying way too fast for me to appreciate and remember! can't even remember what i did everyday. it seem repetitious and dull. trying hard to make it more meaningful and interesting.
2. mr tree. a little disappointed when it comes to him. i feel that he had changed and things aren't as loving and sweet as before. more of screaming and lying. no longer the mr nice and fantastic guy i always picture him as. but i still love him. or should it be use to have him?i don't know and i am not sure. but we shall continue..
3.i am fickle.i had thoughts about you. it comes and go. i dont know how you think. but i think its more of a NAH. perhaps i am just too sensitive or think too much. let all this bad thoughts go away! its bad and i can't afford it.
4. i need to do well in school. i know.
5. i want better complexion, skinner and be prettier! i know its superficial. and i know there are many other things that are more important. beauty aren't everything. but you can't afford not to have it either. just like money.
6. more friends more outings more oversea trips more laughters.i know i am greedy. i don't understand why can't i be satisfied too.
7. i want to be a better person. doing all the right things and eliminating all the evil thoughts. i must believe that people are good and i shan't have negative views on them. i must learn to be contented.
8. learn to treasure life and be happier.
okay!that's about it.
smile.
JOYCE!(:
Friday, August 7, 2009
7 Aug 2009 1.43am
its time to pen down the little things that happened during this 1 year(from the last day i blogged) before i start to forget and regret.
the last time we stopped when i was uncertain abt SPMS camp. and now i have finished 2 semester and very soon moving on to my second year. lets talk abt school.definitely school comes with stress!and we all need to find a way to handle it.i hope i've found mine and i wished that i will do even better in my 3rd semester.YOU CAN DO IT!(:have to learn to focus and put in hard work to get results.6hours of lab.i am afraid i will screwed it up!please dont.cant afford to look like a silly girl again.i wish everything will turn out fine!wish me a successful and smooth 3rd semester in NTU!
NTU was a new phased in life.but i think i missed out a whole lot of 'uni life' when i didnt stay in hall.the people i know are limited which led to the fun and memories in uni to be limited as well. but i have also made myself a few buddies.like sharon PK and WK.people whom i enjoyed their company and also make life in uni not that unbearable like 1st sem.sharon shall always be my only uni friend.
family have been the same since the last time i blogged. just that everyone are getting older.but i also wished them have good health and always be happy.because happiness is sth that cannot be bought by money.and after my 21st birthday party.i realised i have been blessed with really great aunties uncles grandma and mommy which can compensate things that i dont get a chance to own or have.i am blessed and i am thankful for what i have.
21st birthday party(25july 2009)was one of the major eevent that shld be noted. it started off with duck and me from home to tpy to bk to ps back to kallang den to ps again.packed a little and stuff.den pz came.and more and more people came after that.i wonuldnt say the party wasnt a success. but i tot i could have made it better someway or another.especially the leftovers that upset grandma and sixth aunt!i am so sorry.everything could have been better.but well, its over and we shall only remember the happy and best part.poeple who attended are people whom i treasure.thank you for making me happy.
before the acutal day.a birthdya surprise at my house downstairs with light sticks!and my 3rd emi cake!acutal day was spend with duckie.went to the new swimming pool in sengkang!awesome.i enjoyed myself.dinner at lerk thai at marina square followed by a R21 movie.hehe.i was really happy that day.even his sis knows that i am happy.thank you duckie.if it wasnt for you. i wouldnt be so happy.(:*on a side note i share the same birthday with the defeated queen!wants to be no.1 for everything.LOL
the weather now is so humid,and i am sweating.
so many things i wanna pen down.but i am getting a little sleepy.so lets get down to facts!
1.spend duckie 22nd birthday(pulau ubin, queensway shopping, che char buffet, kbox,dinner at home)present before i forget is transformer a tshirt and nike shoe
2.teresa came back and left again.she came back with a birthday surprise!
3.i miss duckie so much now.he is off to KL and will only return on monday.i miss you baby.i didnt know i will miss you so much.until now.
mind is going empty.update again when i feel like it!
BYE.i am feeling so warm.
and i have just finished bai quan nu wang(undefeated queen).
i shld be geeting ready for sch to start.JIAYOU.
and i have to pop a camera out by tml.wish me luck.to get a good and cheap bargain.
i am glad i live on till today.because i felt love. and i will always want to feel it.it makes you keep going on.
i must learn to make life more beautiful when i have the chance.
snorkelling diving yoga charity travelling helpingthelessfortunate.
JIAYOU joyce.be courageous and be brave.
the last time we stopped when i was uncertain abt SPMS camp. and now i have finished 2 semester and very soon moving on to my second year. lets talk abt school.definitely school comes with stress!and we all need to find a way to handle it.i hope i've found mine and i wished that i will do even better in my 3rd semester.YOU CAN DO IT!(:have to learn to focus and put in hard work to get results.6hours of lab.i am afraid i will screwed it up!please dont.cant afford to look like a silly girl again.i wish everything will turn out fine!wish me a successful and smooth 3rd semester in NTU!
NTU was a new phased in life.but i think i missed out a whole lot of 'uni life' when i didnt stay in hall.the people i know are limited which led to the fun and memories in uni to be limited as well. but i have also made myself a few buddies.like sharon PK and WK.people whom i enjoyed their company and also make life in uni not that unbearable like 1st sem.sharon shall always be my only uni friend.
family have been the same since the last time i blogged. just that everyone are getting older.but i also wished them have good health and always be happy.because happiness is sth that cannot be bought by money.and after my 21st birthday party.i realised i have been blessed with really great aunties uncles grandma and mommy which can compensate things that i dont get a chance to own or have.i am blessed and i am thankful for what i have.
21st birthday party(25july 2009)was one of the major eevent that shld be noted. it started off with duck and me from home to tpy to bk to ps back to kallang den to ps again.packed a little and stuff.den pz came.and more and more people came after that.i wonuldnt say the party wasnt a success. but i tot i could have made it better someway or another.especially the leftovers that upset grandma and sixth aunt!i am so sorry.everything could have been better.but well, its over and we shall only remember the happy and best part.poeple who attended are people whom i treasure.thank you for making me happy.
before the acutal day.a birthdya surprise at my house downstairs with light sticks!and my 3rd emi cake!acutal day was spend with duckie.went to the new swimming pool in sengkang!awesome.i enjoyed myself.dinner at lerk thai at marina square followed by a R21 movie.hehe.i was really happy that day.even his sis knows that i am happy.thank you duckie.if it wasnt for you. i wouldnt be so happy.(:*on a side note i share the same birthday with the defeated queen!wants to be no.1 for everything.LOL
the weather now is so humid,and i am sweating.
so many things i wanna pen down.but i am getting a little sleepy.so lets get down to facts!
1.spend duckie 22nd birthday(pulau ubin, queensway shopping, che char buffet, kbox,dinner at home)present before i forget is transformer a tshirt and nike shoe
2.teresa came back and left again.she came back with a birthday surprise!
3.i miss duckie so much now.he is off to KL and will only return on monday.i miss you baby.i didnt know i will miss you so much.until now.
mind is going empty.update again when i feel like it!
BYE.i am feeling so warm.
and i have just finished bai quan nu wang(undefeated queen).
i shld be geeting ready for sch to start.JIAYOU.
and i have to pop a camera out by tml.wish me luck.to get a good and cheap bargain.
i am glad i live on till today.because i felt love. and i will always want to feel it.it makes you keep going on.
i must learn to make life more beautiful when i have the chance.
snorkelling diving yoga charity travelling helpingthelessfortunate.
JIAYOU joyce.be courageous and be brave.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
HI
okies back to some blogging.
have ended work at polyclinic finally!another phase of life over and starting a new one again soon.
celebrated duckie's 21st birthday last weekend.although it wasnt really fantastic but i hoped we enjoyed himself and have a memorable meal.hahha.my gift wasnt really thoughtful but still he hope he love it.belated birthday cake which i made on friday.had lots of fun with duckie when he is out from army.i love SATURDAY because i can spend the whole day with him. we have already catch 3 midnights movies!haha.and without fail one of us will fall asleep!i fall asleep yesterday or today morning rather!the movie ended at 3am!oh man!haha.we had lots of good food too.BUT we lost 20 bucks at jackpot!sad sad!LOL.but i am so looking forward when duckie get his SAFRA card.and more activities for us rather than shopping and movie-ing!hhaha.
OH!i got my new phone.its my dream phone.the phone that i fall in love at first sight!its touchscreen, with fantastic camera and its RED!hhaha.i love my phone.
made a new friend-grace.i love her company.she is so funny..
and bestfriend and sharon is so thoughtful and nice.my best buddies!
have been shopping like everyday.haha.wasting so much money.sob!gonna start saving again.
going to SPMS camp tml!argh.lots of uncertainties.
okies that all people!
will update soon!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
AGAIN.
back here on the blogging board typing some stuff that had happened.
current state of mind:
what other NTU adminstration part did i missed?
which camp should i go for?
how am i going abt to celebrate duckie's birthday?
online business?
haha.
this is so troublesome and when can i have a empty state of mind?
...
alrights.duckie have been in army for like..10 days already!yay.mean in another 94 hours duckie would be out and be right beside me..
to be honest life without him its a little different.different attiitude from my family..the biggest difference.so now i have to get hm like at 10 pm everyday?so ridiculous.
okeis without duck.life now is filled with FRIENDS!ha.i really enjoy the company of my friends but do this affect my piority when it comes to BF's call.i am not too sure!hahha.
okies.met up with band's friend like so many times this week!
1. learn to make 2 types of tian tang
2. online business
miss retard have been so sweet to make a photo album for me and the so cute graduation bear!its so super duper sweet!and i am so glad i found a friend like her!may god bless her and let her dream come true!
miss bestfriend.have been such a wonderful friend.one of those rare friend whom will go all extend just to help you or fufill your request!i am so so lucky i have found her.and i promise i will treausre this special friendship we share for life!
miss princess have been extremely nice too. the first to get me my birthday gift and its the bag that i love most!omg.i love you s o much girl!
and i bought duckie's birthdya present today!hope he will like it!oh well, he have to no matter what for that army boy!haha.
hmmm.
thats all.
next week will be another packed week!
i wanna stay and home and rot and have money all at the same time!
(:
current state of mind:
what other NTU adminstration part did i missed?
which camp should i go for?
how am i going abt to celebrate duckie's birthday?
online business?
haha.
this is so troublesome and when can i have a empty state of mind?
...
alrights.duckie have been in army for like..10 days already!yay.mean in another 94 hours duckie would be out and be right beside me..
to be honest life without him its a little different.different attiitude from my family..the biggest difference.so now i have to get hm like at 10 pm everyday?so ridiculous.
okeis without duck.life now is filled with FRIENDS!ha.i really enjoy the company of my friends but do this affect my piority when it comes to BF's call.i am not too sure!hahha.
okies.met up with band's friend like so many times this week!
1. learn to make 2 types of tian tang
2. online business
miss retard have been so sweet to make a photo album for me and the so cute graduation bear!its so super duper sweet!and i am so glad i found a friend like her!may god bless her and let her dream come true!
miss bestfriend.have been such a wonderful friend.one of those rare friend whom will go all extend just to help you or fufill your request!i am so so lucky i have found her.and i promise i will treausre this special friendship we share for life!
miss princess have been extremely nice too. the first to get me my birthday gift and its the bag that i love most!omg.i love you s o much girl!
and i bought duckie's birthdya present today!hope he will like it!oh well, he have to no matter what for that army boy!haha.
hmmm.
thats all.
next week will be another packed week!
i wanna stay and home and rot and have money all at the same time!
(:
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